A Joke I Saw

At John Dvorak’s blog. It’s that interesting combination of funny and sad, which is the recipe for a good politics joke. I especially like number 5. I don’t find number 10 to be all that clever.

How many members of the Bush Administration are needed to change a light bulb?

Answer: Ten

1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed,

2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed,

3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb,

4. One to tell the nations of the world that they are either for changing the light bulb or for eternal darkness,

5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb,

6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner “Bulb Accomplished,”

7. One administration insider to resign and in detail reveal how Bush was literally “in the dark” the whole time,

8. One to viciously smear #7,

9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along,

10. And finally, one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.

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Mock Opera

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Here’s a musical version of what happened today. Set to the tune of Leon Russell’s most excellent Shootout on the Plantation.

The Cast
Punkin……Cassidy (her lifelong nickname)
Bub Head….Raina (also a nickname)
Dodo……..Me (this is what the kids call me)
The Bears…Cassidy, Delaney & Raina
Lucky Dog…Lucky Dog

***
Punkin and the Bub Head are fighting
About a day camp in the neighborhood
The Punkin never learned how to do what she’s told
And Bub Head wishes she would
Dodo said the Bears are for lovin’ not fighting
But that didn’t clear the air
‘Cause Punkin’s still acting
Like she lives in the jungle
While Bub pulls out her hair

The Punkin got the ‘tude
The Bub Head got the treats
Dodo’s an easy mark
So they both run to me
It’s a shootout on the plantation
It’s so hard to understand
Why are some people so hard headed
Neither one’s the villain
The last one to bed
Is the first to call
And using mean talk
Gets you nowhere at all
It’s a shootout on the plantation
Heaven help Lucky Dog

And the threat of no sleepovers
Enough to cause her blood to freeze
But the Punkin’s still growling
Like some feral beast
And doing just what she pleases
Bellaire’s lonesome daddies are tuned into
Their TV shows
Trying to find a safe place to hide
Before the volcano blows