The Magic of the World Wide Web

I googled marine animals and was not disappointed from funny

The Futility of War (Against String)

Much of the funniest stuff I’ve ever read came from that first The Onion desk calendar.

The Coolest Dude; the Only Question

The coolest dude on earth answers the only question that matters.

When I am forced to listen to someone tell me self-serving things I either already or don’t want to know (think political candidates and sales people), and he or she asks if I have any questions I always ask this one.

Apple Watch: The Musical

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This is excellent.

Deacon Blues: Meet the Press

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I was certain my apathy-induced disregard for Wake Forest basketball spelled the end of Deacon Blues. But when Athletic Director Ron Wellman decided to meet the press today, another episode sprang forth from the sarcastic depths of fan hell.

Here’s the 8th episode of Deacon Blues. In this episode, Ron meets with a hand-picked reporter for an all-holds barred discussion about the status and future of Wake Forest basketball.

Note: All characters and events in this show—even those based on real people—are entirely fictional. All celebrity voices are impersonated…..poorly. The following program contains coarse language and due to its content it should not be viewed by anyone.

Obviously, this is satire and humor. No offense to any person, real or fictional, is intended.

Deacon Blues Archive: Episode 1 is here. Episode 2 is here. Episode 3 is here. Episode 4 is here. Episode 5 is here. Episode 6 is here. Episode 7 is here.

Animal Rights Extremism + Duck Dynasty = Hilarity

One of my favorite things is when someone takes a stupid position on something and the rest of the world makes hilarious fun of it. I do it. Sometimes it’s done to me. Either way it’s good.

duckdynasty

Duck Dynasty is one of the best shows on TV. My entire family loves it, and you can rarely get all of us to agree on anything. Virtually all of the cast members come across as genuinely good, moral folks. Things I’ve read and heard about them off-camera are consistent with that impression. The Smiths were pretty cool. A long time ago. Post-Smiths Morrissey, not so much. So when Morrissey decided to cancel his appearance on the Jimmy Kimmel show because the Duck Dynasty crew was appearing, hilarity ensued.

Here’s the thing. Animal rights activism suffers from the same malady politics and gun control debate suffers from. There are very few logical, middle ground voices to be heard in the chaos of stupidity and extremism. I am generally inclined to favor reasonable animal rights. It doesn’t mean I’m not going to eat some of them (though close to half my meals are meat-free), but I generally get it. Nothing, however, makes me want to shoot some animals as badly as 99% of the things PETA publishes.

So props to Jimmy and the Duck Dynasty crew for making fun of Morrissey. I get it. If you’re going to cancel this appearance because hunters are appearing, you better have a very small circle of friends and business associates, because if these guys violate your sense of righteousness, so does most of the rest of the population. On the other hand, if the cancellation is really just about you being you, maybe it doesn’t matter so much.

The Catnip Crisis in America

catnip

Who cares about guns, the debt ceiling or imaginary girlfriends- there is a greater threat to deal with. One the affects us all. We must act now, before it’s too late.

Deacon Blues: Verbal Crossovers

So, just when we think things couldn’t get any worse for Wake Forest basketball, about half the roster decides to get on the transfer bus and get the heck out of town.

For a while I was mad about the mess that AD Ron Wellman and head coach Jeff Bzdelik have made of this program. Then, over two years of absolutely horrible basketball, it became sort of funny.

Now, I’m struggling to hold on to that humor, and avoid complete apathy.

In that regard, here’s the 7th episode of Deacon Blues. There is an email floating around the message boards today that is allegedly from Ron Wellman to the board of directors of the Deacon Club. I cannot believe it is real, and at this point have to believe the email is a hoax. But either way, WFU basketball is a complete mess.

In this episode, Ron reads his (alleged) email and a helpful Deacon fan translates it for us.

Obviously, this is satire and humor. No offense to any person, real or fictional, is intended.

Deacon Blues Archive: Episode 1 is here. Episode 2 is here. Episode 3 is here. Episode 4 is here. Episode 5 is here. Episode 6 is here.

Great Game of Thrones Parodies

The Song of Ice and Fire series is clearly my favorite series of books since (at least) The Lord of the Rings. And Arya Stark is without a doubt my favorite literary character ever.

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Sadly, I just finished the latest book and now have to wait no telling how long for the sixth book.

The Game of Thrones television show is also just about perfect. As we approach Season 2, HBO has released some very excellent trailers.

And others have made some equally excellent parodies. Here are my two favorites.

The Simpsons (from the actual show)

and the Disney version

Awesome stuff.

Deacon Blues: Couldn’t Be Happier

I thought I had retired Deacon Blues, but this story in the Winston-Salem Journal compelled me to create a 6th episode, in which Ron Wellman and DV7 discuss WFU basketball

Obviously, this is satire and humor. No offense to any person, real or fictional, is intended.

Ron Wellman may be a great Athletic Director, but he is not winning these interviews. If you stand up over and over and spout nonsense, you are hurting your cause. You can spin, and you can craft a message. You simply cannot make absolute statements like "I couldn’t be more excited about our future" unless it is a fact. Or unless you just don’t care.

Deacon Blues Archive: Episode 1 is here. Episode 2 is here. Episode 3 is here. Episode 4 is here. Episode 5 is here.