Spymaster: Big Fun, Twitter Spam or Both

I don’t live on Twitter, so Spymaster, the Twitter-based online spy game, didn’t cross my radar until I got a DM from someone I follow inviting me to join her spy network.  I followed the link and discovered an apparently easy-to-come-by invitation to Spymaster’s public beta.  It looked like a pretty well-designed site, so I decided to give it a try.

After signing up, you first decide what spy organization you want to work for.  I was hoping for CONTROL (Don Adams version), but it wasn’t a choice.  So I picked the CIA, being an American and all.  Afterwards, you’re a junior spy working for the Company.

In sum, the game then involves performing various spy tasks that, if you are successful, result in payment and an increase in experience points.  Pretty standard game fare.

As you accumulate money, you can buy weapons and defensive gear- body armor, etc.- for yourself and your spy ring, which consists of your spymasters (those of your Twitter followers who also play spymaster) and your regular spies (those of your followers who do not yet play the game).


As you accumulate experience points, you progress up the spy ladder.  I am currently a Level 11 spy.  As you move up the ladder, you can perform more difficult- and lucrative- spy tasks and buy better gear, thereby increasing your attack and defense numbers.

You can also assassinate rival spies, though your success or failure rate is tied to the overall strength of your spy ring in a way that is not easily discernable.  As a result I have, thus far, generally engaged only in retaliatory strikes and public service first strikes against those who link bomb Twitter by adding a bunch of Twitterfeed posts at one time.


If you are successfully “assassinated,” you don’t die.  You just lose money and perhaps other assets.  If the attempt fails, you get a portion of the assassin’s money.  Thus far, I’ve made a little net money via unsuccessful assassination attempts against me, but not much.  I tend to see the assassination thing as an annoying distraction so far, which is odd since I assume the interactivity of assassinations is intended to be the focal point of the game.

As you accumulate more money, you can- for a price- deposit it in a Swiss bank account, so it won’t be subject to loss via assassination.  You can also purchase “safe houses” in remote location to generate additional revenue.  So far, this has been the focal point of my game, with some success and a little uncertainty.  While risk and payment numbers are provided, it is not clear how that matrix works, and it is not clear how often safe house payments accrue.  In sum, there should be a lot more detail about some of the game play details.

But the purchase of safe houses keeps my account balance low, which is a disincentive for those who might seek to assassinate me.

There’s been a bit of an uproar on Twitter over the game feature that allows players to increase their power by recruiting their Twitter followers to the game, via DMs, and the game setting which increases your payouts if you post certain game events to your Twitter feed.  Personally, I haven’t been overwhelmed by DMs, so I don’t have a problem with that feature.  I only post two major game events to my Twitter feed (level ups and assassination attempts), but I have seen a bit too much game related activity in my Twitter stream.  So while I wish people would keep their game-related posts to a minimum, I haven’t un-followed anyone for posting game-related stuff.  Yet.

The big question, of course, is whether Spymaster is a brief diversion or something that will have the staying power to become a permanent part of the Twitter experience.  While it’s clearly in beta at the moment, it needs more depth to have the permanence it seeks.  At present, there’s a lot of clicking on tasks, waiting for your energy level to return, and clicking on more tasks.  Notwithstanding the “social” nature of the game, interaction with other players is limited and, as far as I can tell, interaction with those in your spy ring is non-existent.  On the plus side of the ledger, those of us with game playing pedigrees are conditioned to climb up the money/experience ladder and will probably do so, at least for a while.  And the web site is well designed and highly functional.

It’s a good start, for sure.  But the final story won’t be known until we see what else the developers have up their sleeves.  There’s not enough depth now, but there could be later.

As far as the Twitter spam goes, I have not sent any recruiting DMs, because I am a vocal opponent of anything resembling spam.  Given the free for all (and, candidly, already heavily spam and quasi-spam infested) nature of Twitter, I don’t consider the Spymaster-related communications spam.  But I can see how some people would.

For now, I’m mildly interested in Spymaster.  If you want to be in my spy ring, send me a DM and I’ll send you a return invitation.  Let’s go assassinate some geeks, shall we?

The Rules of 42

Republished, upon reader request, from another, older Newsome.Org page, to increase readability and consolidate content.  As an interesting (at least to me) aside- these rules were directly responsible for my receipt of a job offer to serve as a domino teacher on a cruise ship.  I didn’t take it, but it was cool to get it.

Note also that I wrote the original post below over 12 years ago, and some of the people mentioned have grown up and become semi-responsible adults.  I hope one day to join them.


Forty-two is a trick taking game played with dominoes. It is especially popular in Texas, USA. There is a place in Texas called Rancho DeNada where there is almost always a forty-two game in progress. The following description is loosely based on information from David Dailey, Kit McKormick, John Rhodes, Adam Hauerwas and Kate Gibson. Also, see John McLeod’s excellent Card Games web page for the original version of these rules and more great information.

There are basically two forms of 42: it can be played for points or for marks. The version for marks will be described first. The version for points is similar except in the bidding and scoring – the differences are described later.

Players and equipment

There are four players in fixed parnerships – players sit opposite their partner. Gibmonster was a good partner many years ago. Now he is afraid to bid. Kate gives him a lot of shit when he bids. Kate also drinks daiquiris mixed with bourbon. Kate is a cool chick. Bub is a good partner for about three hands. After three hands, her alcohol level is up, her attention span is down, and it’s all downhill from there.

A double-six set of dominoes is used – that is 28 dominoes, one for each possible pair of numbers from 0 (blank) to 6. A domino with the same numer at each end is called a double.

Rank and suit of dominoes

There are 7 suits: blanks, ones, twos, threes, fours, fives and sixes. The highest domino of each suit is the double.

Normally one suit is trumps. Every domino containing that number is exclusively a trump, and apart from the double, they rank in order of the other number on the domino. For example if threes are trumps, the trump suit from high to low is:
3-3 6-3 5-3 4-3 3-2 3-1 3-0

Update:  sorry, but the images were lost somewhere along the way.  Please imagine there are still beautiful images where the broken ones appear.

The remaining dominoes, apart from the doubles, belong to the two suits corresponding to the two numbers on them. Within each suit they rank in order of the other number on the domino. So if threes are trump, the members of the fives suit from highest to lowest are:
5-5 6-5 5-4 5-2 5-1 5-0

Values of Dominoes

Each domino with 10 pips – 6-4 5-5– is worth 10 points to the side that wins it in their tricks.

Each domino with 5 pips – 5-0 4-1 3-2– is worth 5 points to the side that wins it in their tricks.

In addition each of the seven tricks is worth one point to the side that wins it.

There are therefore 42 points available in each hand. One time Johnny Walker bid 43 but he was drunk.

The Deal

The first dealer is selected at random. Thereafter the turn to deal passes clockwise. The dealer “shuffles” the dominoes by mixing them thouroughly face down on the table. Then each player in clockwise order, starting with the player to dealer’s left takes seven dominoes and sets them on edge so that the owner can see their values, but the other players cannot see them. The dealer is supposed to take dominoes last, but Kate never remembers this rule. One night Kate got hammered while playing dominoes at the Ranch and tried for about an hour to call random people on the phone. She was unsuccessful in both dominoes and dialing. Later she and Gibmonster did some really crazy stuff while we all listened. Where are those drums when I need them….

The Bidding

Each player has just one chance to bid or pass, starting with the player to dealer’s left and going clockwise round the table. Each bid must be higher than the previous one. If Amy bids, you can assume she has an ass kicking hand. Amy does not bid much. One night in San Antonio Amy got shit faced and abused Bo (a serious turn of events). Bo said it was “huge bullshit.”

The lowest possible bid is 30, meaning that (a) that’s usually what Gibmonster bids, and (b) the bidder’s team undertakes to win at least 30 points in tricks. Then come 31, 32, 33, etc. up to 41, then 1 mark (which is equivalent to 42), 2 marks, 3 marks etc.

Bids of 1 mark and above require the bidder’s side to win all the tricks (i.e. all 42 points) or take on one of the special contracts (Nello, Plunge, Sevens) described below.

The highest opening bid allowed is 2 marks (unless the declarer intends to play a Plunge). Once someone has bid 2 marks a subsequent player can bid 3 marks, and so on. One time Cody bid two marks. Kent, the next bidder, bid three marks and got his bid. Gibmonster, who didn’t bid, got stung by a scorpion. It was a pretty exciting hand. To play Plunge it is necessary to bid 4 marks, or 5 if the bidding had already reached 4.

If all four players pass, the dominoes are thrown in and the next player deals. If Gibmonster was cloned, this would happen a lot.

The Play

The highest bidder (the declarer) names trumps, or may name one of the special contracts if the bid is 1 mark or more.

The declarer leads to the first trick. Players must follow suit if possible. A player unable to follow suit may play any domino. The trick is won by the highest trump in it, or if it contains no trump, by the highest domino of the suit led. The winner of a trick leads to the next. On those rare occasions when Gibmonster has the bid, he usually calls twos or threes as trump and leads with a non-double, non-trump. It’s either really smart or really not smart, we’re not sure which. Such a move is universally called a “Gibby opening.”

When a non-trump domino is led, it counts as a member of the higher numbered suit, but for following suit it counts as belonging to both suits. For example if threes are trump and the 6-5 is led, it counts as a 6 rather than a 5. But when fol
wing suit the 6-5 can be used to follow to a lead of either sixes or fives. If threes are trumps then the 5-3 when led counts as a 3 not a 5, because trumps are trumps and nothing else.

Notice for example that if blanks are not trump, and you hold the double blank, although it is the highest card of its suit the only way it can win a trick is if you lead it. Any other blank which is led counts as the lowest domino of some other suit. Cody used to like to make clever points like this before he married Chilton. Now she just tells him to shut the hell up. Usually he does.

Tricks are kept face up to the right of one member of each team, in the order that they were played, and can be viewed by all the players. For example after two tricks one side’s captures might look like this:
6-6 6-4 6-1 4-3this trick is worth 11 points, and was won by the 6-6 (sixes are trump)

5-5 5-0 6-2 5-3this trick is worth 16 points and was won by the 6-2, a trump.

When playing a contract to win all the tricks, declarer can elect to stack the tricks. In this case the third trick is stored on top of the first, the fourth on top of the second, and so on, leaving only two previous tricks visible at one time. This saves space and reduces the players’ opportunity to chack back to see what has already been played.

Special Contracts


A declarer who has bid 1 mark (42) or higher can announce Nello, which is a contract to lose every trick. Declarer’s partner turns all her dominoes face down and takes no part in the play. The declarer leads to the first trick, and there are no trumps. Doubles form a suit of their own ranking from 6-6 (highest) to 0-0 (lowest). Rules of play are as usual, and a lead of a double calls for doubles. If a non-double is led the larger number determines the suit to be followed, and a double cannot be played to the trick unless no dominoes of the suit led are held.


The declarer must hold at least 4 doubles to announce Plunge. Declarer’s partner chooses trump (without consulting). Delarer leads, and declarer’s team must take all seven tricks to win.

To play a Plunge, declarer must have bid at least 4 marks. In order to play a plunge, declarer is allowed to open the bidding with 4 marks, or jump to 4 marks over any lower bid, or bid 5 marks over a previous bid of 4. This is the only case where a jump bid or opening bid higher than 2 marks is allowed. A subsequent player could overcall 4 marks with 5 marks, and play a normal contract to win all the tricks, or Nello. 5 marks can be overcalled by 6 marks, and so on.

At some venues, including Rancho DeNada, a Plunge bid is not allowed. At Rancho DeNada, that’s because if someone said “Plunge,” Gibmonster would dive into the cement pond with his boots on and drown.

The Scoring

The scoring is in marks. For any bid from 30 to 42 (1 mark), the declarer’s team score 1 mark if they win. For higher bids they score the number of marks bid. If the declarer is unsuccessful, the contract is set, and the declarer’s opponents score as many marks as the declarer’s team would have scored. The game ends when one team reaches a total of seven marks or more.

The marks are drawn to form the word “ALL” – the first mark is drawn as the left side of the “A”, the second is the right side, the third the crossbar, the fourth the vertical of the first “L”, etc. The winning team is thus the first to complete the word “ALL”. You can also spell “SEX,” if you are into that sort of thing.

When playing for money, the winners are paid an agreed amount for each mark the losers were short of 7, plus an amount for each time the losers were set. If the winners end up with more than 7 marks any excess over 7 is ignored. Also it does not matter how many times the winners were set – they lose nothing for this. For example if A & C agree to play B & D for $0.25 per mark and $1.00 per set, and A & C win 7 – 4, with each team set once, then B & D pay A & C $1.75.


Rank of Doubles in Nello

In Nello, some people give declarer the option of playing with the doubles as the highest dominoes of their suits (as in a normal contract) rather than doubles being a separate suit. Some allow a declarer in Nello a further option of specifying that the doubles are the lowest dominoes of their suits. When playing this variation, a declarer who announces a Nello must at the same time state whether doubles are their own suit, high in suit or (if allowed) low in suit.


This is another special contract, which can be played by a declarer who has bid 1 mark or more. Declarer leads, and each player must play a domino whose pip total is as close as possible to 7. The trick is won by the closest domino to 7, or if several are equally close by the first of these which was played. The winner of a trick leads to the next. The declarer’s team have to take all seven tricks to win.

There is no strategy in sevens – the play is forced throughout.

Without special contracts

Some players do not allow the special contracts Nello, Plunge and Sevens.

Opening lead

Some people play that the lead to the first trick must be a trump.

No hands passed out

Some people play that if the first three players pass, the declarer must bid. The hand cannot be thrown in.

42 with bidding and scoring by points

The information on this form of 42 was supplied by Adam Hauerwas.

In this version the bids are the numbers from 30 to 42, then 84 and 168. You cannot bid 168 unless someone has bid 84.

For bids below 42, if declarer’s team make their bid, both sides score the points they take. If not, the declarer’s team score zero, and the opponents score the points they take plus declarer’s bid.

For bids of 42, 84 and 168, declarer’s team score the bid if successful. If declarer is set the opponents score declarer’s bid but nothing for their tricks.

It is not possible for all four players to pass. After three passes the dealer must bid.

Low-No is a game equivalent to Nello in the game for marks. Low-No can only be bid by the dealer and only when the other three players all passed. The declarer’s side score 42 points if successful, and the other side score 42 points if the declarer is forced to take a trick.

The special contracts Plunge and Sevens are not allowed.

Instead of naming a trump suit, the winner of the bidding has two other options (in either case the object remains to win at least as many points as were bid – or all the tricks if the bid is 42 or more):

  1. No trumps: Exactly what it says. The double is the highest domino of each suit as usual and every other domino belongs to two suits.
  2. Doubles: There is a trump suit consisting of all the doubles, ranking from high to low: 6-6, 5-5, 4-4, 3-3, 2-2, 1-1, 0-0. When a double is led everyone must follow suit
    with a double if possible. The doubles don’t belong to their normal suits so for example if the 4-2 is led you can’t trump with the 4-4 unless you are out of 4’s, in which case you could play anything.

Remarks on bidding strategy

Three passes might leave the dealer in an incredibly awkward situation without having a bid to make; that’s part of the game. Note, though, that this gives the dealer’s partner incentive to bid 30 on a somewhat mediocre hand, because they could be saving the dealer from an awkward situation.

If the dealer gets “stuck” with the bid after three passes, note that Low-No could be bid by the dealer in order to avoid going set on a 30 bid. Since the opponents get the bidding teams bid PLUS whatever points they catch, if you go set on a 30 bid the opponents would receive 30 + (at least 13 points required catch for the set) A dealer might bid low-no on a terrible hand if only to restrict the opponents to catching 42 points (instead of more from a bid of 30 which is set).

No-Trump may be bid on a hand with a lot of control but short on long suits. The problem here is regaining the lead once it is lost. Example no-trump hand: 6-6, 6-5, 5-5, 3-3, 3-2, 3-1, 1-1. Tricks might be played in order from left to right, and one would hope that one or two “threes” would fall on the first three tricks so that the double-three could pull in the remaining threes — making the 3-2 and 3-1 good.

Hands on which it is right to declaring doubles trump are rather rare. One possible hand where it would make sense to bid doubles would be the following: 6-6, 4-4, 3-3, 2-2, 1-1, 6-5, 5-4. Note if the double-five falls on the first trick, you gain ten points and make your 5-4 good.

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Video Fun: Playing Cards

I have been experimenting with the time lapse features of my camera.  Here’s a video I made last night during a game of Pay Me with our friends.  There is a lot of iPhone action going on between plays, demonstrating the iPhone’s penetration into non-techie America.

You can do a lot of interesting things with time lapse.  Back in the nineties, it took me about 8 hours to compile a two minute time lapse animation for one of my films.  Today’s technology makes it very easy.

I expect I’ll do more stuff like this.

Link for feeds.

Games People Play: Newsome Family Games

I’ve really enjoyed Mike Miller’s Be a Good Dad blog.  It keeps me thinking about my most important job- being a good dad to my kids.

One of my great joys is playing games with my kids.  Here are a few of the games we play.

The Game

This car game is a Newsome family original, though I bet many families have made up similar games.  Luke is too little to play, so we divide up into two teams.  One parent and one kid on each. Each team counts the following things (only the first team to point it out gets to count it): Volkswagon Beetles, police cars, school buses, taxis, planes, helicopters, water towers, cats, dogs, mommy cars and daddy cars (being the same make, model and color, but not necessarily the same year).

This is our most long-standing game, and is simply called “The Game.”

The Alphabet Game

This car game is the same one played by generations of families.  In our version, it’s each player for himself (no teams).  Only one letter per sign can be counted, so if one person gets a letter from a big sign first, the other players can’t get any letters from that sign.  Pylon signs, even those with multiple panels, are considered a single sign.  The kids can use license plate letters (very helpful for the X’s and Z’s), but the grown-ups can’t.

Before Delaney could identify letters, we played a derivative of this game called the sign game, similar to “I Spy,” in which we took turns pointing out a sign (“I see a Wendy’s sign”).  If someone sees it before it’s out of view, it becomes that person’s turn.

I Spy

“I spy with my little eye…a lizard.”

This classic game is a restaurant favorite of ours.  Players can ask for the following hints: high, low or medium; in this room (since you can often see outside or into other rooms at restaurants); statue or not (since many of the restaurants we go to have little ceramic, concrete or plastic animals, etc. scattered about).

Who’s Missing

This is our current favorite.  I like it because it teaches concentration and memory.  One of the kids will assemble 10-15 of their little plastic animals.  Most of them are dogs, cats or other small mammals and they are 1 to 2 inches tall.  My kids name all their toy animals, and so most of them have permanent names.  The kids will teach me the names of the animals, and then remove one or two of them while I close my eyes.  I have to figure out which ones are missing and tell them by name.  Then I do the same to them.  It’s a lot more fun than it sounds, and the kids really get into it.

The secret is to move some of the ones you don’t remove around to mess up the pattern.

Family Soccer

I’ve talked about this family staple before.  We have a small soccer field in the yard.  Either I play one of the kids one on one, or we have two teams, with one kid and one grown-up on each.  There are trees at roughly the 40 yard line that grown-ups cannot go beyond.  In other words, an adult can’t get too close to the other team’s goal, so their kicks have to be from pretty far away.  The kids can go anywhere thay want, including right to the opponent’s goal.

These rules make it surprisingly fun and competitive, though the rules will have to be adjusted soon to give me a chance, since my kids are getting bigger, faster and better at soccer.

We have lots of other games we play, including board games like Sorry, Trouble and Clue.

What are some of your favorite family games we should try?

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ESPN Fantasy Football Sucks


This is my third year in a fantasy football league. While I’d rather watch paint dry than an NFL game (I greatly prefer college sports), I have enjoyed fantasy football much more than I thought I would. It’s a fun challenge to put the best possible team on the field week in and week out. It’s a bit of a thrill to check the box score on Sunday and find out that you’re thrashing your opponent. The problem is that, since my league uses ESPN’s fantasy football service, I can’t ever (and I mean ever) get to the box score on Sunday afternoon. What I do get is page after page after page of 503 errors. Essentially, there are too many leagues sharing the same server and the server simply can’t handle all of the resource requests it receives. There is no way ESPN could be surprised by the traffic it is receiving, since the very same thing happened last year. Thus, I can only assume that ESPN simply doesn’t care.

It is extemely frsutrating and makes me much less interested in the league. If you want to enjoy fantasy football, choose another platform. You’ll be glad you did.

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Fantasy Football Draft

mrMy fantasy football league soundly rejected my plan to save the league, so we held our draft last night. Our league rules make Doc Searls’ blog seem like a Dick and Jane book, but here’s what little I have been able to gather about the complex rules and their effect on the teams:

1) It is a hybrid keeper/auction league. Each team has 100 points to spend. You can keep 2 players from the prior year roster at a slightly increased salary and you can claim match rights on 3 others.

2) The 2 expansion teams, led by Alchris Lallodavis, negotiated entry rules that make it virtually impossible for those 2 teams not to become instant dynasties. Goober, the other new owner, managed to defeat the odds and end up with a bad team.

3) Andy had to run to the restroom and regroup in the middle of the draft for the 2nd year, out of 3 total. Emmett, who quit last week, showed up for the draft and managed to put together a good team. He’ll lose by 50 to Alchris Lallodavis, but he’ll be better than everyone else. I don’t think his new employer has a fantasy football team, so it may be hard for him to Kip-out.

Anyway, my draft didn’t go well. I think this is because I had a bad plan to begin with and then executed it poorly. My plan had something to do with saving points until the middle rounds of the draft, by which time everyone else would be down to their last few points and I could buy a bunch of pretty good players for 8-15 points each (top players go for 30-35 points). The other owners did spend a lot of money early. The problem is that they bought all the good players so I had to buy pretty bad players instead of pretty good players for my 8-15 points.

Somehow I ended up with Tiki Barber as my marquee player, Kevin Jones as my other RB and 3, count ’em 3, Detroit Lions as my receivers. Sure wish I’d known who Mike Williams played for when I drafted him in the rookie draft (after the expansion teams drafted all the blue chip rookies). I also forgot to draft a kicker, which almost always goes for 1 point, so I had to drop a player I paid 5 for to add a kicker from the free agent pool.

Here are my predictions for the league:

North Division:

Hawkeyes- decent starters; thin bench; way overpaid for Manning; too heavy in Colts; will probably finish 2nd in the division behind Brilligs.

Longhorns- betting it all on Priest Holmes; lots of injury concerns; not a threat this year.

Brilligs- this is Emmett’s team discussed above. Very, very strong with McNabb, Jamal Lewis, TO, and Javon Walker; Will meet and lose big to Alchris Lallodavis’s NYSE in the championship game.

Capacitators- Floyd rode LT and Shaun Alexander to the championship last year and paid lots for them this year; one of those guys will get banged up this year and the thin bench will hurt; will still fight the Hawkeyes for 2nd in the division.

Young guns- not a good team, considering the way the draft was stacked in favor of the expansion teams. Goober was in Vegas and let Alchris Lallodavis draft for him by proxy; hope he won some cash in Vegas because he’s going to lose some in this league.

South Division:

Buckeyes- good, balanced team; good, cheap young RBs (Johnson and Brown) for next year; will face and lose to NYSE in the playoffs.

Wolverines- when I need to feel less bad about my team, I look at this roster; Vick and Harrison can’t do it by themselves; not a threat this year.

Whackjobs- good depth, but depth only works if there are lots of injuries; will battle the Buckeyes for the chance to lose by 40 to NYSE in the playoffs.

Ramblers- as discussed above, I had a bad night at the draftsky; no playoffs for the Ramblers this year.

NYSE- how can Trent Green, McGahee, Curtis Martin, Ahman Green, Torry Holt, Alge Crumpler, the Colts defense and coach and the highest rated rookie be on the same team in a 10 team league? Enough said; NYSE wins this year and next, easily.

It’s going to be a long year for the Ramblers, but I’ve got some decent players at low salaries so maybe next year….

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Fantasy Football Fairness

I am a huge college sports fan. I watch a lot of college basketball and football. On the other hand, I am not a pro sports fan, as I find the idea of watching a bunch of greedy rich guys playing for teams owned by other rich guys generally unappealing. I am, however, a member of a fantasy football league. We are about to enter our third year.

When the younger guys in my office approached me about starting a league, I wasn’t interested. I haven’t followed NFL football since the Snake was throwing passes to Fred Biletnikoff. But they persisted and I gave in. I spent a couple of hours learning the players the night before our first draft. I went to the Super Bowl the first year, and lost to the other old guy in the league. Last year I scored more points than any other team, but lost in the first round of the playoffs.

This year the league is expanding to allow two new guys in. The members have been fighting like only a bunch of lawyers can about how to structure the expansion draft. The new guys think that the expansion draft is designed to put them in the cellar for years (it’s a partial keeper league). Some of the old members think the expansion draft will result in two new dynasties. One guy is threatening to Kip-out (a term named after one of the founding team owners who left the league last year to play in another league with his “real friends”).

Until today, I have stayed out of the debate, saying only that I will abide by whatever the majority decides. But after reading a few email bombs and a set of proposed rules that make css seem simple, I decided to come up with a set of rules that would be equally ludicrous and brilliant. I think I hit both; the other league members think I only achieved the first. So since my league won’t enact it, here is the Newsome Fairness in Football Plan (the “NFFP”). It is designed for the expansion or revamping of an existing league, but could be modified for use with a new league. It assumes a 10 member league.

1) Put the 30 highest paid players (assuming a league salary cap) in a hat and draw them out randomly, 3 for each team. If you don’t have a salary cap, you could use some other criteria to identify the best players.

2) Then have a 5 round straight draft for 5 of the other players. The order of the draft should be randomized before each round.

3) Then have a four round auction draft with each team owner to have a randomly generated number of points to spend between 60 and 80. This assumes that the typical league salary cap would be 100. You can adjust the number if necessary.

4) Then give each team owner the right to take one player from every other team, with each team to lose no more than one player. Players that have been taken from a team already could not be taken again.

5) Then every player on each roster is randomly assigned a salary of either 5, 10, 15 or 20 points, for use during next year’s draft. Again, this assumes a typical salary cap of 100.

6) After the following season, the league would be a modified keeper league where any player whose total fantasy points for the prior season is an odd number can be kept at the prior year salary plus a number equal to positive difference, if any, between, the last digit of the then current year minus 3 (for example next year it would be 6-3 for a 3 point bump). Any player whose total points for the prior season is even cannot be kept and must be placed back in the draft pool. This ensures that some good players get returned to the draft pool and adds an element of luck in rebuilding that would give the owners of bad teams more incentive to stay active.

7) Prior to future drafts, one team owner to be determined in the same manner as the NBA lottery (worst team gets 10 balls in the bucket, next worst 9, etc.) would have the right to pick one player off of any other team’s roster and keep that player at the same salary as the prior year, plus or minus 5 points to be determined by a coin flip by the commissioner or, if the commissioner is one of the teams involved, by any other team owner. The coin flip would occur after the player has been selected and immediately prior to the draft.

Ludicrous on its face, yes. But if you think about it, it sounds incredibly fun to me.

Too bad my league won’t enact it. If anyone wants to start a league with these rules, let me know. Maybe I’ll Kip-out too.

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