Cloudy Water in the Thinktank

If there’s anything I understand less than all these conferences and unconferences and all the fuss over who gets to speak and who doesn’t, it’s the thinktank. I imagine it as a gathering of navel gazers, with a big dose of arrogance thrown in.

So all these brainiacs are sitting around thinking about the next mensa convention, when all of the sudden the silence is broken by a high pitched, nasal sound.

Brainiac One: “I’ve got it! Everyone else in the world who thinks that net neutrality is a good idea is wrong! Net neutrality is bad! Yeah, that’s it. Bad. Bad, I tell you!”

Brainiac Two: “Well, if everyone says it’s good and we say it’s good too, then what good is our thinktank?”

Brainiac Three: “Good point, Rothschild, we must do out part to eradicate net neutrality. Let’s all think about how we can do that.”

[hours and hours of tense silence]

Brainiac Two: “I have it! Let’s write a report that says net neutrality is stealing! Let’s throw some words in there like regulatory and infrastructure, and, if possible, a few latin phrases.”

Brainiac One: “Yes, if we publish said report, people will talk about it and they will bow down before our tiding.”

Janitor (who has a masters degree, but not mutliple PhD’s) [looks up from sweeping the floor]: “Yeah, and that there will also compy with that durned old Rule of the Reallies becaus’n some o’ dose idgits will thunk it’s wrong!”

Brainiac Three: “Harcourt, go take out the trash and let us smart guys do the thinking. Besides, we are above publicity. It would be beneath us to take an absurd position just for the attention we would get.”

Brainiac Four: “Fellows, I urge that we table this important discourse for an hour as our navels need a break.”